It's a very packed 3 weeks before the Big Day. Below is the confirmed schedule:

24 Dec: Try out costumes at bridal studio/ Dinner with Sarah's family

25 Dec: Family Christmas Gathering

26 Dec: Arrival of sofa/Meet Sarah's relatives for dinner

27 Dec: Arrival of boxes from Shalom Movers/meet florist

29 Dec: Meet Pastor for wedding sermon

30 Dec: Arrival of dining table/BASIC fellowship

31 Dec: Weekend work (12-hour)

1 Jan: Bring bridal gifts to Sarah's house

2 Jan Public Holiday work (12-hour)

3 Jan: ***Time to move to a new place***

7 Jan: Weekend work (12-hour) (Swap shift)

11 Jan: Wedding combined rehearsal

12 Jan: Appointment with ROM

14 Jan: ACTUAL DAY

15-22 Jan: Honeymoon

23-24 Jan: CNY

27 Jan: Back to work

We will be moving house next week, leaving the house where we have lived for 15 years. While the wait has been longer than expected, as the day approaches for the move, the more unprepared and unwilling I am. I will be leaving a place of familiarity to a place where it's easier to receive Malaysia's network than Singapore's.

I remember the last move 15 years ago was filled with enthusiasm and positive feelings, but this move have been filled with negativity and delays so far. There are also less choices of supermarkets and shops, as the area is still developing. It seems like we have been moving to more and more ulu place. On the other hand, being able to avoid the east-west line passing through the city with the new location is something positive. Workplace will also be nearer to the new house, lowering transport cost and time.

This move also signfies a new phase of life and that change is inevitable.

What's next? This question will come to a mind of an individual who has settled down after a transition, but sooner or later, the individual will be asking this question for one last time, because everyone has its own destination. No matter how long we live in one location, we know that it is not a permanent home for us. Do you believe there is a permanent home for us after death? What do you think is the criteria to bring us there, or if there is?

When you doubt that your faith is strong enough for you to be a child of God, it’s a clear indication that you misunderstand the nature of faith. Faith in God doesn’t involve certainty, nor does it imply the absence of doubts. The Gospel of Mark makes this clear in the account of Jesus’ healing of a little boy possessed by evil spirits ( Mark 9:14-27 ). The father came asking for help in front of a multitude, including religious leaders. He told Jesus that he had asked His disciples to cast the demons from the child, but they were unable. Then he said:

If You can do anything, take pity on us and help us (v.22).

Jesus’ tested the father’s sincerity, saying:

“If you can” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes” (v.23).

The boy’s father didn’t claim that he had perfect faith, nor did he walk away in despair. He acknowledged his doubts (unbelief) at the same time that he passionately expressed his desire to believe:

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (v.24).

This father’s faith passed Jesus’ test. Jesus didn’t condemn him for his doubts. Instead, He healed his son.

What a torment, what a terrible burden, to believe that faith must be perfect before God will respond to our need! If we believe that our faith must be perfect, we have established an unattainable goal and enslaved ourselves to a new form of works-salvation. Rather than basing our faith on God’s goodness and Christ’s completed work of love on our behalf, we base it on our own achievement-our own perfection.

People who think that their faith must be perfect before it will be acceptable to God ignore dozens of scriptural examples of people whose trust in God was imperfect, yet their faith was still accepted by Him. Here are just a few:

·        

·         Moses ( Exodus 3:11; 4:1 )

·         Abraham ( Genesis 12:10-13; 15:1-5 )

·         Jacob ( Genesis 25:29-34; 27:1-46 )

·         Elijah ( 1 Kings 19:4 )

·         Peter ( Matthew 14:28-31; 26:69-75 )

·         Thomas ( John 20:24-25 )

·         The disciples ( Matthew 26:56 ).

These examples show that it isn’t the perfection of our trust that matters, but the perfection of God’s love and forgiveness. Perfect faith will be ours only when the Holy Spirit has completed His work of sanctification within us.

 Dan Vander Lugt. Retrieved from: http://questions.org/attq/how-can-i-know-if-my-faith-is-strong-enough/

  30%...50%...65%...77%...88%...90%...93%...

This is how the renovation has progressed. The progress has slowed down. What could have been done in 2-3 days can be dragged over 2-3 weeks, because the contractor has concentrated their labour resources elsewhere, since my mum mentioned that we're not in an urgent need to move in. I believe that when she made the statement, she didn't expect the process drag on so long for a renovation that is not considered very major. Therefore, the lesson is unless you really don't mind waiting, do tell them when you expect them to finish the renovation. Even though, the quality was not always satisfactory, but I would say those shortcomings were minor. Only one major incident happened when the workers who installed the windows grilles accidentally smashed one of the lights.

Last Sunday, we sat at the wedding studio for 5.5 hours before we finalised the selection of the wedding photos to be put in the album.

This is one of the photos...

Countdown timer:

Less than 50 days to moving house!

95 days to wedding!

Spring cleaning is taking place very often so as to determine what are the things that we should bring over to the new place. Over the last 1 month, I have thrown away many things.

Renovation is going to the last phase. It seems like it can be completed within 2 weeks.

We're also going to the busiest phase of our wedding preparation. Is anyone keen to help us in making our wedding photo montage? We will be sending out wedding invites soon.

We were really thankful to God for providing us with decent weather during our wedding photo shoot. For the last 2 months, the weather has been wetter, so it was good that we could complete the photo shoot on the day itself.

It's not always smooth sailing and pleasant, but I like my job. Thank God for that!

I'm waiting for the long break in January.

Whenever a friend succeeds,” Gore Vidal once said, ”a little something in me dies.” The words are sad, because a life lived in envy leaves little room for joy. But don’t Vidal’s words reflect our own feelings at times?

Every person who longs to be married knows that sinking feeling when yet another friend becomes engaged. Every childless couple feels a stab of grief when yet another pregnancy is announced. Every sick person who has prayed for healing feels the confusion when hearing another’s miraculous testimony of being healed. Why them and not me, God? we whisper inside, as we put on our smiles and hide our sadness. The apostle Paul tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15), but when others get what we’ve been denied it can feel like something in us has died.

“I have learned how to be content with whatever I have,” Paul said (Philippians 4:11). In this case, he was talking about food and finances (Philippians 4:12), but we can read his sentiment more broadly. Paul was single (1 Corinthians 7:7), he’d been denied healing (2 Corinthians 12:7-9), and had often lacked safety, shelter, and sleep (2 Corinthians 11:23-29). Yet he could say his weaknesses were his strength (2 Corinthians 12:10). How?

Paul revealed his secret to the Philippians: “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). He faced sickness, singleness, loneliness, and sleeplessness by drawing all he needed from Jesus who dwelt within him. The most contented people I know have discovered this secret for themselves.

“Whenever a friend succeeds,” I want to be able to say, “a little something in me lives.” May our empty spaces be filled with Jesus today.

Source: http://www.ourdailyjourney.org/2011/09/06/true-contentment/ 

At each stage of our lives, we get to meet certain people. There are some whom we hang out with and they are called our friends. However, as we move on to the next stage, some who were once our friends have become strangers, due to a lack of contact, as we are preoccupied with our new phase of life. However, there are also a few whom we still like to meet up with and these friendships stand the test of time (how many years is another question).

I have friends whom I will like to meet up with and others that I have never thought of meeting up. You know there are some people who appear to be nice, but you know that you can't trust them to stand by you when you are going through difficult times or you're in need of help. I'm not talking about literally taking action to help, but just being there in the darkest moments. Even at work and training, I can roughly have a sense of who are what I call colleagues and what I call friends. The former behave as if they don't know you once formal or informal gathering ends, while the latter are those who genuinely brighten up when they bump into you.

Therefore, in my mind, there are always people whom I will like to meet more than others. If I know that I'm spending a lot of time with fair weather friends who are just building up their network to enhance themselves, then I know that I can best use my time elsewhere, since these are the people who will disappear from your life once you are of no use to them.

I'm thankful that in every stage of life - secondary school, JC, NS, university, church, work - there are people whom I have met that I think I can keep as friends, even though many of them I haven't met for quite a while. I believe during my wedding, I will get to meet a couple of them. For those friends whom I have met in secondary school and JC, if I invite you for my wedding, it shows that I do want to continue my friendships with you. On the other hand, I'm bounded to invite almost everyone whom I have met more recently.

I will like to make a disclaimer: if I do not invite you for my wedding, it is not necessarily because you are a lousy friend to me, but it may also be because we weren't really familiar with each other during the phase of life that we met.

I will like to think that each one of you has also thought about this issue at one point or another in your life.

I came up with 25 random things about myself back in Feb '2009. You will find those below. Before that, I will come up with 25 random things about myself to update about my life.

(22 April 2011)

1. In Home Team Academy, I will more likely sing the National Anthem if the song is played. I do not feel like opening my mouth when I'm instructed to sing the National Anthem without the music. Field instructor: "1, 2, 3, sing!". I still love Singapore.

2. I'm STILL a Liverpool FC supporter. I have supported the team for almost 13 years. Liverpool FC hasn't won any trophy for 5 long years (the last trophy was FA Cup in 2006).

3. My perfect meal is very simple: boiled brocoli with carrot, boiled potatoes, and grilled salmon, with cream mushroom soup (+more potatoes). A cup of barley drink will be nice as well.

4. I started to have a collection of Chinese worship songs in 2009. Nowadays, I listen to them more than any songs. 

5. I don't really have a preference in terms of the gender of the child, but having a son will be nice. I hope my son and I can find common things to do together. I do not know what it means to be a son to my father, because he passed away many years ago.

6. I will be married on 14 January 2012 (Sat) at Adam Road Presbyterian Centre. If you are not sure whether I will invite you, but you really want to be there, do let me know, I will be glad to include you in our guest list.

7. The video that my friend lent me in 2009 got me more interested about Taiwan. I last visited it in 2005. I hope to visit it soon, and eventually be doing missions there (short term or long term). On a side note, I'm quite impressed by their recycling efforts.

8. My favourite TV channel is not from MediaCorp. It is GoodTV. You can watch it online: www.goodtv.tv. My favourite shows are: 真情部落格 and 心靈不打烊.

9. My residential training will end at the end of 1st week of May. While I'm happy that it's going to end soon, I will also look back and miss the good days that we had over the past 28 weeks. My squad mates' honesty, openness, dedication, and sense of humour have made the journey something worth remembering.

10. I'm a simple and ordinary person who is loved by my God, fiancée, family and friends.

11. I'm going to move house soon, leaving the western part of Singapore, where I grow up all my life.

12. There was a period of time when I took part in a couple of running events: Citi-Milk Run 2007, Mizuno Wave Run 2007, SAFRA Half Marathon 2007, SAFRA Singapore Bay Run 2008, Safari Zoo Run 2009, Adidas Sundown Marathon 2009, Safari Zoo Run 2010. My knees are not as strong as before, though my current 2.4km timing is the best since 2005.

13. Thankfully, there is no sit-and-reach station in IPPT. Standing Broad Jump is enough to give me a headache.

14. My late cousin fought bravely against cancer for more than 3 years. The spiritual warfare that was the root behind the illness really shaped my faith. The difficult journey as a family was hard to swallow. Her faith and perseverance towards the end was worth emulating. Grieving takes time. The reality of her absence felt unreal when I embarked on a busy residential training about 2 months after she left us, then her absence hit me hard during Chinese New Year.

15. Having attended funerals of people who have died way before their life expectancies, ambitions to me do not weigh as much as last time. I can't bring my fulfilled dreams to my grave. That probably also shapes how I look at my current training phase and career. I seek to be responsible in the things that I'm tasked to do more than to see them as opportunities to shine. I'm not in the business of pleasing others.

16. Animal welfare continues to hold a special place in my heart.

17. I dislike quarrelling and confrontation. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. Sometimes, it happens.

18. My 4 years in NUS were the best times of my life. I met people who were passionate to help others and showed what loving God meant in their lives. I missed those days when I could take part in water-bombing my friends on their birthdays. I missed those days when I could try out different things. I missed the comfortable bus journeys - reading or sleeping on the bus. 

19. I'm STILL a zombie if I sleep less than 5 hours a day.

20. I'm generally a quiet person, but I will still talk to people, especially if they initiate the conversations. It takes time for me to warm up to people. I prefer one-to-one conversations to group conversations. This allows me to know my friends a bit more.

21. I enjoy baking pineapple tarts with my fiancee. They are no less inferior if not better than some of those sold outside. Yum yum.

22. One day after the bible study, I told the youths, "you are all very lucky. Next time, if I receive complaints from my child's youth leader that he or she misbehaves, I will cane the child." I meant it as a joke. Hopefully, they appreciate their parents more.

23. Standing too long gives me backache.

24. I had intention to discard my track shoes on my last day in Nepal. The boy who waxed my trekking shoes offered to do something to my track shoes, so I decided to keep it until 2 weeks from now. I still feel that it's almost time for my shoes to retire.

25. My residential training has rebuilt my confidence in running again. Three years ago after my IPPT, I collapsed and felt a sharp chest pain, which persisted for a couple of weeks. I started to be more fearful and cautious of running. Since then, I had been running just enough to get IPPT silver, instead of running my best.

Going back to 25 random things written in 2009 (6 February 2009)

1. I'm a zombie when I sleep less than 5 hours a day.

2. Patrick is a name that is not in my IC. It was a name I gave myself in sec 3 because not many could pronounce my chinese name "Zuowei".

3. My previous names were "Jack" and "Steven".

4. I'm a Liverpool FC supporter for 11 (mostly disappointing) years.

5. My secondary school ambition was to become a prison officer. It still is.

6. I have more toys at home than you imagine Patrick has.

7. I complained to SBS in primary 6 when I was sick of long bus waiting time. (The bus service has been under SMRT since a few yrs ago.)

8. I like to cook, but opportunities are very few, as I'm banned from cooking at home.

9. Animal welfare matters to me.

10. Having my own farm will be great.

11. My record water drinking in a day: more than 6 litres!

12. Nee Soon Camp barber gave me a bowl like hairstyle that made me the laughing stock in camp.

13. During my NS, I told myself I would major in psychology. I'm a social work major now.

14. I went into NUS wanting to join VCF, but by a twist of fate, I ended up joining campus crusade, and have not regretted since. (you can ask me how this happened..)

15. I developed a habit of reading or sleeping on the bus during JC.

16. I watched Singapore play in the National Stadium for the first time in Jan 2007. Singapore won 2-1 against Thailand in Asean Football Championship Final 1st leg, and went on to be champion of ASEAN.

17. I "dislocated" my finger in a basketball game in secondary 3, and the finger is still visibly out of place.

18. My favourite module is "Social Work and Rehabilitation of Offenders", because it's my pet topic and is taught by my favourite lecturer.

19. I had wild thought of wanting to become an MP before, but definitely not now. (FYI: MP Seng was attacked last month).

20. Volunteers cannot do social work. You need a SW degree to practise social work. A social worker who does not use theories in his or her assessment and intervention should go eat grass for bringing shame to social work.

21. I love outdoor until I meet the butterflies, to the delight of Sarah.

22. I'm a shy person.

23. In the DISC profile, I'm a high C person. I'm a thinker, and if I do not think, I day dream. Don't catch me daydream because it is unloving to embarrass me.

24. My favourite food in McDonald's: Filet-O-Fish

25. I only listen to chinese songs. (For non-Christian music)

A lot of times I'm put in helpless situations, vulnerable and crying to God for help. He's faithful, giving me the peace that I can't get anywhere and letting me witness His faithfulness in those teachable moments.

One example was today. I had no default script to work on but there was rehearsal when I had to use Mandarin to explain the exhibits in the gallery. I scrabbled to work something out before it was my turn to have the dry run. I thought to myself, "God, you've to help me. How am I going to explain properly something that I do not have clear idea of?"

In the end, the dry run was not 100% smooth sailing, but God gave me the confidence and words to speak. Each day presents an opportunity to trust God.

May I not lose sight of God during comfortable times.  Thank you Lord for being real in my life even in ordinary encounters.

小小的梦想 
词：李信仪 曲：游智婷 
专辑：宝贵十架 

蓝天是白云最美的故乡 
大地是小草成长的地方 
海洋是河流安歇的暖房 
梦想是未来幸福天堂 
小小的梦想能成就大事 
只要仰望天父的力量 
小小的梦想能改变世界 
带来明天的盼望 

蓝天是白云最美的故乡 
大地是小草成长的地方 
海洋是河流安歇的暖房 
梦想是未来幸福天堂 
小小的梦想能成就大事 
只要仰望天父的力量 
小小的梦想能改变世界 
带来明天的盼望 

耶和华是我们的力量 
同心来为主传扬来发光 
前面的道路全然交给他 
他必同在使我们刚强 
小小的梦想能成就大事 
只要仰望天父的力量 
小小的梦想能改变世界 
带来明天的盼望 

小小的梦想能成就大事 
只要仰望天父的力量 
小小的梦想能改变世界 
带来明天的盼望 

小小的梦想能成就大事 
只要仰望天父的力量 
小小的梦想能改变世界 
带来明天的盼望

Sarah and I will get married in 9 months' time. The planning of the wedding will be an exciting journey, and I have some grand ideas floating in my head, but hopefully, the ceremony will glorify God more than anything. Marriage preparation is also more important than wedding preparation.

______________________________________________

I'm aware that ACRES Wildlife Rescue Centre is very near where I am training. I hope to pay a visit there one day, but it will probably be after my residential training phase. That means I have to specially make a trip there. What is ACRES? Check out at www.acres.org.sg.

A group of us flew off to Nepal for our overseas leadership training two weeks ago. When the plane landed in Kathmandu, I looked around and didn't believe that we were at the airport. It looked more like an old Bukit Timah Shopping Centre than an airport. Taking a bus from the plane to the terminal seemed silly because the bus taking us only moved a very short distance (less than one bus stop) before it was time for us to alight. During the last two days of rest and recreation in Kathmandu, I finally had a first hand experience of the chaos of the traffic since there are no traffic rules or lights to follow on the roads. Cars were horning, and sometimes it seemed like two vehicles were about to collide with each other until the final second. There was only one air stewardess on the domestic flight. She served us sweets, cotton (I almost mistook it as something edible), drinks and peanuts. The travelling journey in between our trekking journey was an experience in itself.

My trainer told me I looked like Speedy Gonzales in my outfit. I accepted the nickname but couldn't wait to find out how this character looks like. So let us compare these two pictures:

I'm thankful to God for the weather. We trekked a few hours each day, but there was only one day when we had to carry umbrellas during trekking. That day was difficult. As it was raining, the slopes were slippery. On another day, I was thankful that the soil was not too dry, otherwise we would have to clear the sand off our nostrils by the time we reached our rest stop. The soil was also not too wet so the land surface that we walked on was not too slippery.

Ascending was physically demanding, but more mentally challenging, because sometimes the continuous ascend could take up to an hour such that at the first half, we would not be able to see the end of it. Pacing ourselves became very important. One step at a time. Just focus one step at a time. Alternatively, when we still had the extra breath, talking to members in front or behind me gave me something to focus on instead of the pain of ascending.

Descending was challenging for me, because I'm not comfortable with heights. I found that I needed to pay 100% attention because whenever I lost my concentration, I would trip over the rock or slipped a bit. The only thought I had usually when the descend was tricky was "Lord, guide me for every step I take (so that I don't roll down...)."  

The scenery was the reward that greeted us at every destination that we reached each day. Each day, we stopped over at one lodge to discuss certain topics and reflect upon our individual leadership journey. Each one of us had different leadership journey as different ICs encountered different challenges for each route and lodge.

I'm thankful that everyone came back to Singapore safely. None of us were seriously injured or ill. I vomitted on one of the nights, and it was a low point for me. The next day after the trek, I was given permission to rest during a sharing. session. Although I would have preferred not to miss the sharing, the few hours of rest in the afternoon totally rejuvenated me. I was like a battery almost fully charged and ready to continue. Food was thankfully not an issue. I thought I would have to eat grass in Nepal, since I can be uncomfortable with food if it's cooked in a certain way that I'm unfamiliar with.

It was a discovery journey. I discovered more about myself, my squad mates and trainers, the city, the mountains, and the people there. The people there lead different lifestyles from us here in Singapore. Though they are poor, their lives are not worth less than us, unless you subscribe to the idea that your worth is based on your capacity to earn over a lifetime, which I find disturbing. They show to us that human beings are resilient and adaptable, such that for some, they call mountains their homes. Power failure and complete darkness are common in Nepal, but unthinkable in Singapore. The dark encounters reminded me that we're too reliant on artificial lights in the cities, therefore there's this phrase "the city that never sleeps", because in the past before lightbulb was invented, people would rest soon after sunset. In Singapore, majority of Singaporeans do not sleep before midnight.

The hospitality and service that the guides demonstrated during our time there touched me personally. I felt really cared for when I was ill. They would always ask us whether we wanted extra food. I felt that for a good service received, I had to be an appreciative customer. It takes both hands to clap. In Singapore, some service staff complain that Singaporeans are difficult customers, and Singaporeans point their fingers at the rude service staff. Who's at fault? I believe there are customers who are difficult (and big-headed), and service staff who should be sent packing home, but there are also people around that make the whole shopping experience pleasant. The excellent service by the guides reminded me of some staff who took pride in their work, no less the bus driver who greeted every passenger who boarded the bus which I took to go to NUS.

"Never take anything for granted" sums up the 12 days of experience, even though the snippets that I have shared may not fully capture it that well. Let me end off with a light hearted conversation that took place one evening:

D: All of you are supposed to come up with a joke. I will choose one person to share a joke each time during the trek.

A: Patrick, you don't have to come up with a joke. You just need to stand in front and people will laugh.

P to B: I will be the only one who can sleep soundly tonight, because everyone will have to think of a joke for the next day. I don't have to.

The year is coming to an end. It is a year marked by deep sorrows, mellowed joy, major milestones, trying transitions, and yet thanksgivings too.

God sustained our relationship during the long distance relationship period. It was difficult, more so because we were away from each other while individually having difficult times at where we were.

The stresses of schoolwork was never considered trying to me, especially during the last semester of school term. What I was more concerned was my cousin's condition and her walk with God.

I had the opportunity to be more active in school activities. Guys retreat was memorable. It was not so much because I was the one leading the committee, but seeing guys gather together desiring to change means a lot to me. Why? There are so many people out there who only see that others need to change for the better but not themselves.

I also started to watch Goodtv as a way to relax myself and introduced some good shows to let my mum watch, which got her more interested in Christianity.

I have finally graduated this year! For guys, it's additional 2 years of wait because of NS. I do miss school, and I already knew that I would do before I left. Graduation trip in Melbourne with Sarah was great. It was the only time that we had break together this year.

I started work in NUH in May but left a few months later. My cousin lost battle to cancer. There was deep sense of sorrow, but God has His sense of purpose, and my mum received Christ a week after that. I had the opportunity, alongside with other brothers and sisters in Christ, to explain what it really means to be a Christian, especially in the eternal aspect. I was having a break then, which allowed me to spend more time with my loved ones during this tough period. This is God's timing!

He knew that I rested enough and in October, I finally got appointed to work in a job that I have always wanted to work in since 10 years ago. I hope training will not make me lose that passion, but ignite the passion to plant seeds that matter to the outcasts of the society, because even if they do not deserve a chance, their loved one deserve it. Training has been alright (busy and tiring). Thank God for each and every step that He's brought me through thus far. Staying in has not been as easy as during the army. It feels different this time.

All these above are just brief description of what has happened over the last 1 year. I wish it will have been more smooth sailing, but one thing is for sure, this year has convinced me even more that following Jesus makes more sense than ever before!

I had my plans and my timings. God has His plans and His timing! He knows what is best, though I may not always gratefully accept it. May your will be done. It's the unexpected that remind me I'm not God.

I really treasured the time of reading and learning Hebrews 10-12 during the camp talks and prior to the camp. Many readers will think that those people in Hebrews 11 were foolish, but if you know and believe God's promise and His faithfulness, you will agree with me that they were models of what men and women of great faith look like. Faith is not faith if it is not tested. True faith survives the torment of persecution, the cloud of uncertainty, and defies human logic.

The great danger for me is busyness. In this temporary season of life in residential training, I find myself busy with training in the days, extra-curricular activities (e.g. commitee meetings & preparations, "household chores") at nights, and on weekends, scramble to find time to spend with people who matter to me - family, girlfriend, church friends etc, while squeezing time to read one week's worth of newspapers, scanning one week's worth of personal emails, and preparing bible studies. However, I'm thankful to the Lord that all these are possible though I wish I would have more time to spend for each activity. More importantly, the more busy I am, the more I feel I need time to put aside things to read God's Word, so that I will not lose sight on God's promise, and end up striving for excellence at work for the sake of personal glory instead of making personal decisions and living in a way that brings Him glory.

I have been thinking that in this season, I can be used by the Lord to bless others, but a thought came into my mind. Instead of viewing myself as an important instrument for God to use, this season, like any other seasons, is no exception - a season of building my faith in Him, as I discover my weaknesses and witness His faithfulness covering my weaknesses and uncovering the blind spots of my sinfulness.

I'm thankful to God for His promise. I'm also thankful to God that He's active in my life. Week 8 training begins.

1. Access Denied

Gone are the days (at least for the next few months) when I could easily get internet access almost anytime of the day. It seems like I have taken a step backward against the flow.

When internet access is readily available, using the internet becomes a habit and more meaningful time is wasted. Having being deprived access to internet during training breaks the habit and makes me realise that I can survive without the Internet.

However, no internet access has also brought me inconvenience. I'm out of touch with what is happening around the world - natural disasters around the world and murder in Pasir Ris have happened just the last two weeks alone. I could only get to read a backlog of updates from the youth ministry that I serve in during weekends, and with a backlog of old updates staring in my face, natural filter of information set in, hence full participation in the discussion and contribution of ideas take a backseat.

2. What do we rest our hope on?

I haven't read the news in details recently. What I know is a faint picture of volcanic eruption, flood and tsunami that have taken place in our neighbouring countries. I take no delight in this. The death toll is usually higher in rural areas than in urban areas, and the poor in those areas pay the price for the pollution that globalisation and industrialisation have contributed, while the dwellers in the cities (so far) enjoy the fruits of economic prosperity.

We have to recognise that we are vulnerable (and not invincible). There's no turning back, and the recycling effort (which I support) is a faint effort to reverse the damage that has been inflicted on planet Earth, but I believe the Creator (if you believe there is) is in control and has a solution better than our man-made solutions. In view of the trend and the temporal nature of life, it is wise to evaluate whether we have paid too much attention on things that do not matter in the long run.

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. - 1 John 2:17

We want to give our loved ones the best things that life can offer, but how we define what is the best thing in life is up to the individual's values and beliefs. I'm a personal advocate that the best thing in life cannot be bought with money, therefore whatever can be bought with money does not really excite me.

If the best thing in life cannot be bought with money, how can we give that to our loved ones? There are some good things in life that we can give to our loved ones without the need of money - quality time spent with our loved ones, selfless care and concern, and other things that you think can fit into this category.

On the other hand, there's one thing that can never be bought with money and it can never be given by my own means, but it is something that I believe is the best gift that I will like my loved ones to have - the gift of eternal life through Christ our Lord and Saviour. This is something that only God can give.

Why is eternal life the best gift one can get?

I believe that we have to give an account to God on how we live our lives. Sin is not just the absence of good deeds or the presence of bad deeds, but it also means that we live our lives denying the authority of God and live lives our own way. We think we are masters of our own destiny. If this is the case, none of us can be guiltless before God. However, God loves us that He sent His Son Jesus Christ, who is sinless to die on the Cross for our sins and He rose on the 3rd day so that we have eternal life. His resurrection proves that He is the Son of God and achieves victory over death and devil.

Whatever good things in life (whether they can be bought with money) will mean nothing when we face the Lord. We won't be going back to this present life again, but what happens next is eternal (unless you believe that there's nothing after this life), so where we head next matters. Jesus paid for our sins but we need to believe that He has taken the penalty for us in order to receive this gift of salvation.

I'm thankful that my loved ones have been touched by the Lord over the years to believe and receive Christ as their Lord and Saviour. The latest in recent times to receive Christ is my mum and I'm very thankful to God for His mercy. Pray that there will be continuous growth in our relationship with the Lord until we meet Him face to face.

The picture speaks for itself. I never know the importance of painkillers until yesterday. Ouch!